by Chantel
My husband has sighed and said more than once: “I’m…just not like the romantic ideal, I guess. I forget your birthday sometimes. I almost never bring home flowers. I am horrible at planning surprise dates. I guess I’m not the man from the movies.”
But when I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for a man out of the pages of a romance novel. I didn’t fall in love with him because he bought me flowers. I fell in love with him because he is so much more than the dashing man in the latest fictional romance.
I love chocolate kisses, real flowers, hand-picked cards and surprise dates. I love those just because “I love you”s and the romance of candle light dinners and the feeling of being swept off my feet unexpectedly.
But what I love more than even wonderful, fluttery romance is the everyday, real life romance.
The kind that brings you tea and toast when you are both so sick that moving is painful.
The kind that doesn’t always remember to buy you a card on your birthday, but knows exactly how you like your Subway sandwich.
The kind that shaves your legs for you when you’re in the hospital after a major surgery and just want to “feel good” again.
The kind that carries you from your bed to the couch and back when you are too sick to walk, but just want to see outside for a while.
The kind that folds laundry on a Sunday or after work.
The kind that plays silly games with you, and listens to you ramble.
The kind that challenges you, and calls you out when you are out of line and you know it.
The kind that sees your worst hair days and pimple days.
The kind that stays when life gets messy (because it always will).
The kind that may not win any medals for romance from the world, but that outlasts life’s obstacles.
That romance doesn’t always have flowery words written in the perfect card. Sometimes it has no words at all. It doesn’t always come with fresh cut flowers. But it’s the kind you can count on, and lean hard into when it matters the most. It’s the stuff that true love is made of.
My husband might not think he is the world’s most romantic man, but the ways he shows love, commitment and care every day far exceed the fluff of make believe worlds.So when you look for a man, don’t look for fluff. Flowers are nice, but you’ll want something more than that when life gets hard. You’ll want romance that extends beyond dinner and a movie and bends down into life’s messy moments and makes itself a part of your life–for better or worse. Day in and day out.
That’s real life romance.